


i am but waiting for you (just round the corner)

by wollfgang



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angry Dan Espinoza, F/M, Lucifer takes Dan to heaven to visit Charlotte, Post episode: s03e02 Quintessential Deckerstar, Protective Lucifer, Spoilers, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 22:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wollfgang/pseuds/wollfgang
Summary: “I - I didn't even get to say goodbye,” he says, emotion choking him.Lucifer’s intensity ebbs, regarding him with something like sympathy. “Would that make you feel better? If you were able to say goodbye?”A laugh barks out of Dan, ugly and wet. “Yeah. Yeah, man, it would.”Lucifer studies him with a calculated air, seemingly trying to ascertain his sincerity. “Very well.”





	i am but waiting for you (just round the corner)

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in a tear fueled rush, so i apologize for any mistakes

[Death Is Nothing At All](https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland) By Harry Scott-Holland

_Death is nothing at all._

_It does not count._

_I have only slipped away into the next room._

_Nothing has happened._

*

Dan stares out into the horizon, numb. The sight of the city is hazy with distance and the sun beginning to rise. Officers had to pry him loose from where he had curled around Charlotte, sobbing. Her body has been cleared away and Ella and her team had come through and collected evidence. She hadn’t even reprimanded him for contaminating the scene, but had given him a hug, tight and lingering, before stepping back and looking at him with sympathetic eyes. 

There's nothing more to be done here, but Dan can't make himself leave. He feels empty. Gutted. 

Chloe and Lucifer are still here, hovering in the background. The former quietly lending emotional support, the latter drifting around the area and studying it with dark eyes. Lucifer comes up to stand next to him. He slides his hands in his pockets and stares out at the city.

“If it's any consolation, Daniel, rest assured my brother escorted her to the Gates of the Silver City himself.” 

Dan knows Lucifer intends it to be comforting, he _does_ \- it’s just, it's just too much in a weak moment and Dan snaps. 

He shoves at Lucifer who takes a half step back out of surprise. “Can you quit with the Devil stuff-” Dan shoves again, but this time Lucifer doesn't even budge. “-for _one_. Goddamn. Second!”

Lucifer reacts in a sudden burst of movement, gripping the front of Dan's shirt and pushing him backwards with powerful strides. Dan’s boots scrabble to find purchase, sudden fear flooding through him, but Lucifer’s too strong. Dan finds his back hitting the bark of the nearby tree and air leaves him in a whoosh. 

Lucifer's gaze is hard. “I understand human grief exhibits itself in strange ways and that you are _mourning,_ Daniel, so I will forgive you for accosting me,” he says, voice sharp. “But someone out there is responsible for Charlotte’s murder and you need to pull yourself together if we are to bring them to justice.” 

The anger vanishes in an instant, leaving Dan feeling shaky and hollow. Lucifer's grip on his shirt is suddenly the only thing keeping him upright as sorrow sweeps through him like a riptide. 

“I - I didn't even get to say goodbye,” he says, emotion choking him. 

Lucifer’s intensity ebbs, regarding him with something like sympathy. “Would that make you feel better? If you were able to say goodbye?”

A laugh barks out of Dan, ugly and wet. “Yeah. Yeah, man, it would.” 

Lucifer studies him with a calculated air, seemingly trying to ascertain his sincerity. “Very well.” 

He releases his hold and Dan slumps back against the tree. Lucifer strides over to Chloe, reaches up to tenderly cradle her face and says quietly, “Have no fear, I will return to you.” Then he presses a soft kiss to her forehead. 

Dan's eyebrows skyrocket, but there's no flare of jealousy, not even satisfaction at seeing them finally getting their shit together, nothing he can muster beyond the gaping hole of anguish inside him. Then Lucifer is back and tugging him toward the lookout’s edge. 

“I'm already courting war by my presence in the Silver City alone, what's carting along a living soul to the Gates?” Lucifer asks rhetorically. 

Lucifer positions him so that his back is to the ledge and fear trickles down Dan's spine, but Lucifer only reaches for him, sliding his arms around like a very awkward hug, one hand bracing his neck, the other secure around his waist. Dan looks over Lucifer's shoulder to where Chloe stands and watches with confusion on her face. 

Then Lucifer unfurls his wings. 

Dan and and Chloe have matching expressions of surprise, wide eyes and parted mouth, before Lucifer gives his wings a great heave and Dan's feet leave the ground. Two, three, more hard flaps and Lucifer angles his feathers and catches the wind, sending them up and up. 

Dan grips Lucifer with white knuckles as the land gets smaller and smaller below them. He peers over Lucifer’s shoulders, watching the hard flex of muscle that accompanies the push-pull of Lucifer’s wings. He wants to freak out about this, Lucifer is The Devil, the _actual_ Devil. But...that means what he said about Charlotte is true. She’s in Heaven. She’s - she’s okay. Tears fill his eyes and Lucifer makes no mention of the way Dan tucks his face against his shoulder and cries. 

They must be at least a thousand feet in the air when Lucifer says, “Take a deep breath and close your eyes.”

Dan immediately sucks in a lungful of air and shuts his eyes tight. Lucifer must do something because Dan's stomach shifts like when an elevator takes off and his skin tingles. 

“Alright. It should be safe now, you can look if you like.”

Everything is dark. Small pinpricks of light can be spotted in the distance and realization makes Dan dizzy. They're in space. 

“Well, not strictly speaking,” Lucifer replies. “But near enough. We're in the Heavenly realm, which is why you're not dead from the crushing pressure, the lack of oxygen, or all the blood in your body boiling.” 

Dan swallows, stomach suddenly uneasy. “Good to know.”

Lucifer hums, sounding slightly amused, soaring on some invisible current. “We should be at the Silver City shortly.”

Dan can't tell when they get there since he’s facing the wrong way, but Lucifer's flying pattern changes, swift backbeats of his wings and then there’s solid ground under their feet. Lucifer lets go of him and his legs feel wobbly. He stumbles and Lucifer quickly catches him and sets him aright, wings vanishing with a snap. But then Dan is suddenly focused on what’s around them.

Of all the things Heaven could be, Dan...wasn’t expecting it to look like an _airport_. 

The gates are gold, technically - a dark, brushed metal look that resembles stainless steel and the floor has certainly has a pearly sheen to it, but yeah, it’s definitely an airport. An unfamiliar angel stands guard at the gate, dark glossy wings folded behind him, his hand resting on the sword at his hip. Dan has never met him, but he and Lucifer clearly recognize each other. The look of disgust the angel levels at them does not fill Dan with confidence. 

“Adversary,” the angel sneers at Lucifer.

“Peckerhead,” Lucifer replies, appearing rather mild. Dan stands between the two of them uneasily. Lucifer ignores the other angel, deliberately putting his back to him, fishing around in his breast pocket. He jerks his head towards the big glass doors. “Well, go on, then.”

“Living souls are not allowed past the Gate,” the other angel counters sharply, his gaze cold in a way Lucifer never is. 

Lucifer calmly pulls a cigarette free and tucks the carton away, hands folding behind his back in a loose parade rest. “You’ll let him pass or I’ll kill you where you stand.” 

The angel narrows his eyes. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“That’s what Uriel thought,” Lucifer replies, voice calm, but Dan notices the way the cigarette shakes between his fingers, unseen behind his back.

Something like fear flickers across the other angel’s face and he steps away from the doors, though a sneer mars his face. 

Lucifer slides the cigarette between his lips, flicks his lighter and brings the little flame up to his mouth. It catches and he puts it away to inhale and let the smoke curl lazily from his nose. “In you get, Daniel.”

“You aren’t coming?” Dan can’t help but ask, surprised. 

Lucifer smiles tightly at Dan. “I’m not allowed past the Gate.”

 _‘Neither am I,’_ he wants to say, but he doesn’t have to because Amenadiel is pushing open the door from the other side, massive grey wings folded against his back. 

“Lucifer!” he’s saying with a bright smile stretching across his face. He doesn’t pause, but barrels forward, wrapping his brother in a bone crushing hug that briefly lifts Lucifer off his toes. Something horribly vulnerable passes over Lucifer’s features before its schooled away. Amenadiel steps back, grinning. “It is good to see you.”

“You as well, brother,” Lucifer admits. He pulls a feather from inside his jacket, a dark grey matching Amenadiel’s perfectly. “You ought to be more careful, it would be a pity to expose humanity to the divine.”

Amenadiel accepts the feather, but raises a disbelieving brow at Lucifer. “Perhaps. I know one or two humans who might be able to handle it. Speaking of.” Then he turns his attention to Dan, who feels suddenly nervous, but Amenadiel looks at him kindly. “You must be here to see Charlotte.”

“Yes,” Dan says, voice rough. 

Amenadiel nods like that was the answer he’d been expecting and turns to pull the door open for them. “Come inside. Both of you.”

“But -” the angel protests. 

“Are you questioning me, Remiel?” Amenadiel asks, his voice soft with threat. “The First of Angels and Favored Son?”

Remiel lowers his eyes. “No, brother.”

“Good.” He continues to hold the door open and Dan takes the hint, skirting by and into the lobby, Lucifer following more hesitantly.

Angels are moving about, some walking with purpose, a clear destination in mind. Others are chatting to each other idly. Curious eyes drift over to them now and then, but Amenadiel’s presence seems to deter most of them.

“What? No welcome home party?” Lucifer asks, covering over his insecurity with sarcasm as they take a set of stairs to a different floor. 

Amenadiel looks back, amused. “The Silver City is where you are from, but you and I both know that it’s not your home.” His expression goes sly. “I imagine you’ll return to her once your business here is finished.”

Lucifer rolls his eyes, but doesn’t refute the statement.

They go through hallway after hallway, wide stone arches and modern glass architecture blending seamlessly. Dan can see a distant similarity in Lucifer’s decor, but Lux has much more warmth than the blank, impersonal walls of the City.

“And what of Father? What does He think you you opening the City to its greatest foe?” Lucifer’s question is surprisingly soft. 

Amenadiel looks briefly sympathetic. “He...isn’t here. He hasn’t been for some time.”

Lucifer’s face shutters. “Ah. I see.”

Amenadiel claps a companionable hand on Lucifer’s shoulder. “Things have been running fine on automatic, but I’ve taken over the Host since my return.”

Lucifer nods. “Naturally.”

“My time on Earth taught me much,” Amenadiel says, leading them down a corridor that looks slightly less like an airport and more like the inside of a large office building. “The nature of humanity, how confusing and contradictory it can be. I’ve tried to put what I’ve learned to good use.” They reach a door, heavy wood and fancy. Amenadiel knocks, waits a moment and then peeks in. “Charlotte? You have visitors.”

Dan doesn’t wait, can't wait, and pushes past Amenadiel with his heart in his throat. And then there she is. _Charlotte_. She’s standing, dresses in a professional looking suit, white, and perfectly tailored. A heavy gold necklace sits against her chest and a delicate silver bracelet adorns her wrist. She smooths nonexistent wrinkles out of her shirt and quickly tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.

The motion draws his eye and he sees the small waffle charm.

“Dan,” she greets with a nervous smile. 

“Charlotte,” he says tremulously. His feet take him to her and she meets him partway, coming around her desk to see him. It doesn’t feel real, so he reaches out, fingers encircling her wrist. It’s solid, she’s solid. Real. 

“You’re really here.” Disbelief colors his voice.

“So are you,” she says. “You aren’t - you haven’t...” she trails off meaningfully, concerned. 

“Oh! _No_ , no. I didn’t die. Lucifer brought me here.” They both look back to where the two very tall angels wait awkwardly at the door.

“Oh, good,” Charlotte says, relieved. Then she smiles at him, soft and adoring. “Did you come all this way just to see me?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Oh, Dan,” she says, fond and exasperated all at once.

“I’ll stay.” The words spill from his mouth before he can stop them. “I’ll stay. Here, with you.”

She shakes her head, though it seems to pain her. “You have to go back. You have your job, your _child_. Daniel.”

“Then I’ll be back here as soon as I can,” he says, growing desperate, feeling like she was slipping through his fingers yet again and he’s so, so tired of letting things slip through his fingers. 

“No,” Charlotte objects, her anger making the word slice through him. 

God, of course. She - she was in _Heaven_. What would she want with him? This was stupid, _he_ was stupid. “Right,” he says, taking a step back, pain blossoming through him like a bruise. “Of course not. That - I’m sorry, I shouldn't have -”

She pursues him, reaching out to snatch up his hand, not letting him retreat. “I want this,” she tells him, squeezing his fingers. “As weird as it is, I want this. I want you, all in. The whole deal. So there.” 

Dan chokes out a laugh, hearing his own words repeated back to him. “Really?”

She nods and then she's gripping him and kissing him breathlessly. It's all he can do to keep up, threading fingers through her hair and keeping her against his mouth, the other still gripping hers, unwilling to let go. Her kisses are edged with teeth till his lips are swollen and tingling. Finally, and yet far too soon, she pulls away. Her eyes shine with tears. 

“You, Daniel Espinosa, are to live as long a life as possible and be as happy as you can stand. You hear me?” Her words are ferocious and Dan can only bend under her command even as hope bursts wildly in his chest. “And then - and only then - you come back to me, okay?” 

Affection surges wildly in his veins with a violence he’d nearly call love. “Okay,” he promises. 

She grins at him, wide and beautiful and he has to kiss her one more time, doing his very best to memorize her taste, how she feels pressed against him. He’s the one that breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead to hers for a moment while he catches his breath. Then he forces himself to take a step back, though she keeps their fingers tangled.

“Don’t forget about me up here in the clouds, alright?” he teases, though it falls a little flat. 

“Never,” she swears. “Besides, time here moves a lot slower than on Earth.”

“Time differential,” Lucifer pipes up from where he’s been studying Charlotte’s office shelves. Then he slides a look at Amenadiel, eyebrow raised, curious. “You have her working?”

Amenadiel smiles, smug. “I do.”

“Someone want to explain?” Dan asks, a tad irritated. 

“The Silver City is the inverse of Hell, really. Everyone has their perfectly, tailor-made fantasy to experience for all eternity. There’s probably one out there with a Dan making waffles for breakfast right now just waiting. But she,” Lucifer says nodding, “Is not in hers. She’s outside of the rooms, in the offices, working.”

“Well, I have it under good authority that those with bright, sharp minds tend to find the Silver City, well, boring,” Amenadiel says innocently. “I thought I would try something...new. Charlotte is doing what she does best. After all, the Silver City is not free of conflict, and mediating was a big part of her old job. And she has far more patience for paperwork than you ever did.”

Lucifer makes a derisive noise in the back of his throat. 

“The system here works pretty well, but I’ve already found multiple ways to improve it,” Charlotte says, brimming with pride. “If only sorting out bickering angels didn’t take up most of my time.”

Lucifer has the good grace to look a bit sheepish at that. “Yes, well. No one’s perfect.”

Amenadiel nods. “In many ways we are as flawed as the humans we’ve looked down on for so long. You saw their worth as Father did.” Lucifer looks away and says nothing so Amenadiel continues, “I’m going to be making some changes around here and not everyone is going to like it.”

“If you require my aid, brother,” Lucifer says seriously. “You need only call.” 

“Thank you, I may end up having to take you up on that. But you ought to return to Earth before too much time has passed.”

Lucifer grimaces. “Of course. Daniel?”

He looks back at Charlotte, their hands still intertwined. The waffle charm bumps against his wrist. “I’ll see you soon?”

She swings their hands a little. “Not too soon.”

He grins, a little roguishly. “Of course not, especially since I’ve got you looking out for me from up above, right?”

She kisses him in response, short and sweet. “Goodbye, Dan.”

“Goodbye, Charlotte.” He can’t help himself, dipping down to press his mouth to hers, quick. Lucifer makes an impatient sound. 

Amenadiel is right. They should go. So Dan lets Charlotte slip though his fingers. He follows Lucifer out of the office. He doesn’t look back. Dan knows if he does, he’ll never leave, no matter what’s he’s promised. 

He thought he’d feel worse, walking away from her like he is now...but he feels strangely at peace. Something in him that had broken with Charlotte’s death hasn’t...healed, exactly, but maybe it’s mended a little. This was goodbye, yes. But not forever. He would see Charlotte again. She would wait for him. 

In the meantime, he has a murderer to catch.


End file.
